So my novel isn't going to win the fucking Nobel prize; I finally acknowledge 'there is a lot of work to do'; I suddenly despise the 'creative process'; I'm fed up with chasing my tail around in circles and I realize I don't know what I'm doing. So what do I? I do what most males (not discounting most females for all I know) do, I go on to the internet to look at some porn.

The German language service providers are very congenial. If I request one site, they pop up a list of others I might also like, in anticipation, and no matter the generally limited palate of the obvious activities, the range of interpretation is, of course, staggering. However, somewhat disturbingly it leads me to encountering five minutes of something called 'Freeze This Is A Big Butt Stick Up'. There is a hostage crisis on the television right now (I'm going to blame it on that) and I'm sure nobody there is thinking about sex in any way at all, but some genius in LA has dreamt this thing up, where the bank robber gets distracted by two shapely female bottoms, whose owners fiddle about with them for him for a bit under kinky duress, then his revolver finds unheard of and deeply disturbing use (I have never heard of anybody shooting themselves or indeed others up the arse but...) then loses concentration for the two bottoms to take their revenge by snatching the gun. I really didn't know what to make of it, except that 'degrading to women' didn't seem to be the half of it until we were delivered the prospect of fierce revenge (timer ran out- but did some research) and the hope that the gun wasn't loaded, or perhaps, if I could call up a precedent, if I could intellectually be able to summon up some critical facility for this extraordinary cultural product, I would say I had just watched five minutes of Benny Hill 'shot' by Pasolini.