I said Berlin was calm, what if even that's too much for you? Seeing as Julie is a bit of a water baby and it's her birthday, I was dragged here, like a dog on the visit to the vet, to Liqidrom, to, er, float, and er, sweat, and generally get wet to calming music.
I don't know how they make that calming music. It must be such a bind going in to the studio wondering if this is calmer than that. What kind of person does that for a living? What do they eat? I mean even Cafe del Mar had quirky bits. I'm not sure this stuff was worse than Eno or not. I spent most of my time listening out for clear errors in programming, and it is the only time I have ever been grateful to hear 'Nothing Compares to You'. Meanwhile the calming version of 'This is Not a Love Song' was so weird it was brilliant.
Liquidom also must be hell to work in, unless on speed. After a day of enforced calm you'd be likely to have a nervous breakdown cracking an egg. You'd need anger classes.
But, you maybe have to do these things for love, and you can keep an eye out for the naked fixation that has such facilities work as sort of 3D Lucas Cranachs. I've never been fond of Cranach's paintings, though Goering liked them, especially the 'Seven Ages of Women' one of those Reformation pieces against vanity that demonstrates merely that every woman will end up looking like Joe Bugner. Here you'll get the seven ages of man too. Don't look, it's grizzly. Buy another cocktail (thankfully they do cocktails).
So I tried to float, I really did, amongst several luminescent balls, in the pool above. I am not a natural floater, I like my feet on the ground, I nearly died in the Solant once. As we were reclining at some point in this suspension of life itself, Julie absent mindedly asked me if I'd ever been to the Sanctuary. She was that chilled. I was horrified.
'Are you trying to pick me up?' I said