Facebook

I joined Facebook for a month, to try it out. We have a book and an exhibition to promote, so I think that was the logic, but crucially I'd cashed in twenty years worth of reward points shopping for groceries at Tesco, and that got us two iPad minis.
First impressions were not encouraging, I soon discovered my 'new' friends (my 'old' friends - apart from Scott- I hardly ever see, they are a diminishing and by now almost mythical set, almost exclusively cherished at funerals) were morons confirming my predisposition toward Facebook as yet another harbinger of forthcoming apocalypse, possibly by 2030. These friends cropped up every day burping up all sorts of crap; films of base jumping dogs and pictures of their lunch, sentimental pictures of babies and narcissistic pictures of themselves, while all the time changing their profile pictures like some nervous twitch. Almost as soon I had accepted them as 'friends' I found myself wondering at the consequences of blocking them off. I contemplated searches for better friends, but soon realised I was stuck with those I got.
So last night I posted MY FIRST DOG PICTURE! (above) and it was a relief. I passed the Rubicon. Notwithstanding that evenings in our flat had become a picture of two folks with their noses stuffed in their iPads, I realised that the appreciation of skateboarding dogs, even dogs of ANY KIND doing ALMOST ANYTHING, was exactly what Facebook was for, and that if the Tudors had enjoyed Facebook, THEY would have been posting pictures of their skateboarding dogs and pictures of their lunch just like us. THEY would have farted their way through their record collections of an evening on Facebook if they'd had iPad minis, and not had to rely on the minstrels. Such is the truth bestowed on us by 'Blackadder' or 'Up Pompeii', our comedy removes us of the illusion that we have every been any better and now Facebook simply confirms what we have always been.
So, as historical documentation, hooray for Facebook, and Facebook friends, I take it all back, I salute you. I have joined in.