So it has come to this, Max Clifford wins a football match. Max Clifford will win the Premiership, Max Clifford will lift the Champions League. The nation quivers in apprehension as to whether two players shake hands. The whole of the Chelsea team crumbles under the weight of tittle tattle. Paradoxically, they suddenly can't SCORE. You couldn't dream it up, it's pure soap opera. I believe a conspiracy- that this has been constructed. It is a convenient way of selling papers and bigging up nationalistic passion before the World Cup- the money spinner that desperately needs British ticket sales. It seems to me like a rather clever marketing ploy. I mean, if all the England players were behaving themselves there would be no stories, and football players by definition do not behave themselves, they are the dangerous beasts of temptation and thrill and comparative daftness- ideal material. Wayne Rooney next....

Mind you I did watch the '70's classic 'Rollerball' last night.