Julie got a message from Jesus on her mobile phone. Presently she's watching the Americans kick ass against an inter-gallactic army of bugs who've just nuked Buenos Aires (?). Later she's timetabled in the man who lives with bears. There's an army of slot enthusiasts over there playing slots against the clock and making, collectively, very strange noises indeed. I'd forgotten just how inter-gallacticly weird things are in Las Vegas, it can cause some pretty serious fraying at the edges. The TV is full of advertisments for illnesses you might GET if you take the product advertised, and there seems to be a vogue for buying all your meals for a month in one go delivered by UPS (presumably medication comes extra). That way, you are apparently sure to lose hundreds of pounds (!!) Tony Orlando's proved it ('Get two weeks free!'). And Cindy Crawford has managed the delicate art of traveling backwards in time by looking younger by getting older (we need SERUM!) and TWINS are everywhere, it's the only way you can tell the difference between one person and another (ie no difference). We paid $20 for TWELVE chocolates and I'm beginning to long for cottage pie, and the future, if this is anything go by, is played out to a soundtrack of crappy Beatles records for all eternity. Vince Neil (yes, Vince Neil!!) is now a corporate executive.

Oh God, they're off again with the speed slots. Is there a technique to this BEYOND hitting a button very quickly? - Ah, yes, some people use both hands! And people are walking around in pyjamas.

Under such circumstances, it becomes essential to reach for another Bud Lite.