Found myself ranting last night about a family 'hog roast' I have to attend on Saturday. It will either be boiling hot or pouring with rain, and there is nothing you can say to anybody because the whole thing is so miserable, and everybody else will be thinking how lovely it is to 'get together as a family'
no matter you have nothing else in common. I'm bargaining to get a room at the Travel Lodge down the road as a bolt hole. I'm certainly sure I can't bare the stress of venturing into and then out of
surbiton in one day, and so will have the opportunity of retiring early and possibly for good.
And why this sudden hog roast industry? Where has it come from? Whats wrong with some nice homemade burgers and a butchers sausage? I suggest it's a petit bourgeois McDonalds, involving a complex semiotic conjugation of Jamie Oliver, a local twat with a dustbin, some communal notion (long gone) of animal sacrifice and general snobbery. I know it won't taste as good as my burgers anyway, and there will be loads of crappy salad. If you were to properly Bar-b-Q that's a different matter, the Americans have spent years perfecting it, but er...we have not.
A truly awful prospect.
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