Woke up feeling rather good. Played 'Jump' (Van Halen 1984) as a result. This is a most unusual thing for me to do as I empty the washing machine and it is a most life affirming record ( 'I stand with my back against the record machine....I ain't the worst that you've seen' etc) . More unusually I was then inwardly directed towards a dose of 'Roadhouse Blues'. The line 'I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer' has had quite an effect on my life after all. I happened to stumble on a Spotify live version where the the Big Jimbo says as an intro 'Of course everything is fucked up as usual' and this struck me with equal poignance, because, before any event happens, like a rock show, or an architecture show for that matter, everything BEFORE the event is inevitably 'fucked up as usual'. It is the event that must take over, it is the human impulse to perform, to enjoy each other, that follows a kind of schematic dread of failure that prevails beforehand.

How brilliant is that! And weirdly it happens time after time. So I would like to thank all those people who for one reason or another were very lovely to me last night 'at the show' which of course , before hand, was 'fucked up as usual', but ended with myself and Julie feeling terrific.

I thank you all, especially Wayne.

Meanwhile, when you think about it, The Doors were better at 'the blues' than Led Zeppelin at least twice, with 'Roadhouse Blues' and 'LA Woman'. I say this because Zeppelin is mostly about having sex in a rather simplistic way ('Juice running down my leg..' 'deep deep down inside' etc) of actually doing/having it; Penetration, climax POW WOW WOW! with delightful mystical accompaniment of course which rather suits us idiots.

However, Jim Morrison is somebody so fucked up with his life in the world you can't imagine him ever having either the inclination or the energy to have sex at all, and I have a vision of him dying rather happily in that Parisian bathtub after having said 'fuck it' in so many METAPHORICAL, alienated, ways. THAT is what makes Morrison a rock god, and as of today I will no longer have any truck with the 'fat bastard pretentious wasted twit poetry writing scumbag' line on him. I'm so pleased I've finally gotten to the bottom of it.

And if you think this kind of thinking as any good, then remember to spend lots of time sitting on your arse NOT DOING STUFF.

Lots of Love and thanks to you all.