Sky Plus balls

Despite the fact that a survey of our middle class identified the Queen (1) Bear Grylls (2), Jamie Oliver (5) and Anne Widdecombe (10) in the top ten of people who are role models for us all, I want you to know I don't hate everything. I can even sit through Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason as a last resort of saturday evening programming as long as I'm thinking thoughts such as 'Well they couldn't have made this schmaltz without the aid of Josef Goebels' (think about it). However It appears I am at war with the TV schedules, because I don't have Sky Plus and I don't look at anything whenever I want to. Frankly the opportunity would be too bewildering and give me what Julie calls, 'fuzzy head'. So having sat through the sentimental slop of 'Jones' that feeds the masses so successfully I would have to stay up to watch a treat like 'Heat' (with the finest heist shootout of all time by the utterly fabulous Michael Mann) or even Lethal Weapon Two of which little is actually memorable at all but I still like it. But I'm too tired and I want to go to bed.

However, when I get up in the morning I can also delight to the surprise of finding the indomitable James Robertson Justice star in the classic B&W WW2 escape caper Very Important Person. Now that sort of surprise justifies the good old schedules, so maybe it's not best to have whatever you want whenever you want it after all.